No, anger is not the sin. God experiences anger. Jesus experienced anger. Since He is also God, I reckon He still does. Stay with me. I suppose you wouldn’t be asking this question if you weren’t angry with God. I have spoken with plenty of people who have been. It isn’t uncommon for a client to tell me how angry they are with God.

Sometimes they will say something such as “God and I are not on speaking terms right now.” They may say, “I don’t want anything to do with God.” The statements are as individual as the person making them.

What is God doing while you are angry at Him?

The thing is, God is there waiting like the patient parent of a toddler. He is waiting for the tantrum to end. He is ready to reconcile and move forward. He is waiting for you.

I told my daughter that I outed her a little in my blogs. She laughed. She doesn’t remember stomping into her room after I disciplined her. She would rant loudly as a child, not understanding why I told her no. I could hear, but never went into the room. She wasn’t trying to be disrespectful. She didn’t understand. She was angry and needed time to settle down. I always tried to give her that time before moving to make things right with her.

I believe God gives us time to feel our emotions. He wants to be there. My daughter could have crawled into my arms, and I would have held her tight as she cried because what I did made no sense to her. She didn’t want to be in my arms, so I waited.

I think about the passage where Jesus points out that an imperfect father still meets his child’s needs and how much more God is able to meet those needs (Matthew 7:9-11, ESV). The context isn’t anger, but the concept is the same.

God knows how to handle your emotions, including your anger. Once you ask, He will help.

Was Job angry at God?

If anyone was angry with God, it was Job. Have you ever read the book of Job in the Bible?

Job had everything, and he lost everything in a day. In case you haven’t read it, by everything, I mean everything. He lost all ten of his children. He lost all of his livestock and the people who tended it. He got sick and had horrible sores all over his body. He did get to keep his wife, but she wasn’t super helpful.

The thing that strikes me is this: Job lost everything because God was proud of him and bragged on him. I don’t pretend to understand it. Maybe Job was real. I believe he was. Maybe the book is some sort of allegory. Some people believe it is.

The story has an incredible point. Job was living right, obeying God. He made it a point to worship God and make sacrifices in case his children accidentally sinned. I don’t know about you, but I accidentally sin often and fail to repent. Job didn’t.

Job became angry with God. He cursed the day he was born. He longed for death and saw no reason for his suffering. The sin wasn’t in the experience of anger. The book itself says so, twice. Job 1:22, ESV: “In all this Job did not sin or charge God with wrong.” and Job 2:10, ESV: “In all this Job did not sin with his lips.”

Job had “friends” and a wife. None of them were encouraging. His wife told him to curse God so he could die. His friends rant for chapter after chapter, trying to convince Job his suffering was because he had sinned. Still, even as he became more and more frustrated and hopeless, maybe even bitter, there is no evidence God counted his anger as sin. As a matter of fact, God explicitly provides Job’s friends with a reprimand and takes Job’s side in the matter (Job 42:7, ESV).

How many of us have had horrible life experiences that were not of our own making? Maybe you have. I have sat with person after person who described trauma after trauma, all inflicted by someone who was supposed to love them. Wounds from strangers happen, but they are less common in my experience.

Does it matter where your pain came from?

Regardless of the source of your pain, your anger does not have to be sin. I remember one of my pastors talking about doubt. He said it is ok to doubt if God exists, but you better be talking with Him about it. The answer for your anger is the same.

How many times have people who love you chastised you for your emotions? People don’t always get it. People don’t always understand. Family doesn’t always understand. They tell you that you should be over it by now, but you are not.

I think about the pain I feel for a client sitting in front of me, telling me how her family has rejected her. She recounts how her anger toward her family has morphed into a complete rejection of God’s existence, simply because she didn’t understand and became angry.

There is an unexplainable darkness to that depth of anger. If that is you, you don’t have to sit in it. Your family may not show you the kindness and compassion that you need, but God does. Even when the world shuts you down, God will show up and help you let go of even the darkest anger. That is, if you will let Him.

What happens when you tell someone you are angry at God?

Most of the time, people are kind when we share our anger toward God. I believe most of the people who follow Jesus have experienced bouts of anger themselves. But far too often, well-meaning believers have chastised people for being angry with God. They say that you are doing wrong. But God said the chastiser is wrong. Read that verse in Job again.

I’ve heard it said more than once. Clients tell me they went to a pastor or a pastor’s wife, and much like Job’s friends, they got a verbal lashing rather than compassion and understanding. That verbal lashing is counter to everything I read in Scripture. It is counter to everything I know about therapy, and research supports my experience (Exline & Grubbs, 2011). As a deeply committed follower of Christ, it is my prayer that you will find compassion just as God intended. As a therapist, I am here to help you find that compassion.

God understands, and He is patiently waiting for you to come to Him. Maybe He is calling softly, and that is why you are reading this post. Listen carefully, get calm, and let Him hold you in His arms.

One of my favorite passages is this: “O LORD, my heart is not lifted up; my eyes are not raised too high; I do not occupy myself with things too great and too marvelous for me. But I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child is my soul within me. O Israel, hope in the LORD from this time forth and forevermore” (Psalm 131:1-3, ESV).

I believe this passage is God’s goal for us when we are angry with Him. I believe His desire is for us to calm ourselves in His presence, just like a child who goes to a loving parent for comfort.

What does holding on to anger do to your body?

We hear that science teaches us that anger and bitterness destroy our bodies. We go to the doctor looking for medication. We go looking for answers. Doctors give us medicine. Still, doctors want us to do something about our stress when we have a medical problem. Often it is one of the first questions they ask. There is a reason for that.

I think of the family members who purse their lips, tighten their jaws, and grimace at the mention of another family member’s name. I see their face turn red. I figure their blood pressure is rising. The anger, though, is from something that happened thirty years ago.

Holding on to anger destroys you. The object of your anger may be another person or God. The physical result is the same. Anger toward God hurts you.

When does anger at God become sin?

Most of the time, like Job, we don’t understand. When we don’t understand, we become angry. Sin isn’t found in the anger. Sin isn’t found in the confusion. Sin is found when we hold on to the anger. It happens when we allow the anger to fester, take control of our lives and make our decisions. Sin happens when we choose anger over God.

Forgiveness is the blessing. When God starts His conversation with Job, His first words are something like, who are you to question Me? I expect to read fireworks and lightning after that sentence. That isn’t what God does.

God restores Job. God brings Job even closer. God heals Job. God shows up filled with grace, forgiveness, hope and the blessing of His presence.

God wants to do the same for you. You are ready, and it is time for you to take the next steps to confess the bitterness and let God take you in His arms and make you better.

I am Vickie, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. I know that bad stuff happens in life, and I love helping people heal. I love watching people grow and become the person God meant for them to be. I see people face to face in Maryville, TN. If you live in Maryville, Knoxville, or a surrounding area, click the button and schedule a talk so we can decide if I can help you.

Frequently Asked Questions

Will God forgive me for being angry at Him?

Yes, God is eagerly awaiting the opportunity to forgive you. Just like the parent of a wayward child waits for the child to come home, God is waiting for you to come to Him.

Why am I still angry at God years later?

There is a good chance that you have never taken your anger to God. Just like we get mad at family and refuse to talk it out, we get mad at God and refuse to go to Him and talk it out.

How do I pray when I am angry at Him?

You word vomit how you feel. Just like Job did. You can even write it down and dispose of it after if you want. God is not afraid of your anger. He has a big heart and can handle it.

Crisis Resources

If you or someone you know is in crisis, call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline) or go to your nearest emergency room. If you are in immediate danger, call 911.

If you or someone you love is experiencing domestic violence, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or text START to 88788.

Disclaimer

All content is written or reviewed by Vickie Starkey, MDiv, LMFT, and is intended for educational purposes only. It should not be used for evaluation, treatment, or replacement of your provider's recommendations.

Vickie Starkey has been a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Tennessee since 2005, License Number 579. She graduated from New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary in 1995 with a Master of Divinity in Psychology and Counseling. She graduated from Carson-Newman College in Jefferson City, Tennessee in 1989 with a Bachelor of Arts in Psychology and Sociology. Vickie has been a Certified Master ART Practitioner since 2023. Verify my license here: https://internet.health.tn.gov/Licensure/

AI Disclosure

These posts, summaries, and FAQ answers are written by Vickie Starkey, MDiv, LMFT. AI is used to edit grammar, generate and suggest titles and section headings, generate questions for the FAQ, and help apply APA-formatted citations. Vickie also uses AI to flag potential clinical misstatements, allowing her to evaluate and correct as needed.

References

Exline, J. J., & Grubbs, J. B. (2011). “If I tell others about my anger toward God, how will they respond?” Predictors, associated behaviors, and outcomes in an adult sample. Journal of Psychology and Theology, 39(4), 304-315. https://doi.org/10.1177/009164711103900402

The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. (2001). Crossway.